Par for the course: Preparing for marriage

I want to get married one day. That is a fact. However, I know that without leaning on the Lord and seeking his direction, that a) won't happen or b) will happen but land  me in an unhappy marriage.

I don't know about you, but I don't want either situation.



So, I've been seeking Him, and He has been directing me, guiding my heart, and my actions.  This weekend  I was led to start listening to a sermon a day starting from those of Pastor Jurmaine Jones of The Bridge DC
Today, I listened to the very first sermon posted on the site which happens to be the first of a series called Relationship Virus Scan. Go figure. As I listened to the pastor, I was reminded of the importance of digging beneath the surface during the process of courting and dating in the road to meet our husbands and wives. He gave three pointers to avoid what he describes as the virus of shallowness:

1) Thoroughly think through the type of person God would want you to be with PRIOR to courting and dating.  He then mentions that if you don't have a set of criteria, then you are bound to fall for anyone and anything, only to realize down the road that they just might not be the best for you. This is so true! How often do we just go with the flow because a person has something artificial (cute/handsome, lots of money, swag, big butt, etc), only to find out that they are just down right mean, disrespectful or [insert unfavorable character trait here]. Or better yet, how often do we make the person fit what we supposedly want by making every excuse in the book for them? Know what God wants for you and make those traits the non-negotiables.

2) Be patient. Do not rush the process. He makes the point that character is revealed over time and under pressure. Sometimes we rush things because people are expecting us to be in a relationship, or because we just want to be with someone, or because everyone is in one. Yet, in the midst of this we jump into something that we may not have, had we taken the time to truly get to know the person and sought God. Pastor Jones also mentioned the importance of noting someone's reaction under pressure and not ignoring the revelation of their, for example, bad temper. Too often we ignore the things they show us just because of our superficial desires. Remember: People show you who they are. It's up to you to believe them.

3) Learn to value what God values. Does God really place importance on you have a woman with the 'bomb' body or the man who can dress nicely? This goes back to the whole theme of being shallow in our relationship endeavors. If we seek God, then we'll learn to value his values.

But not only did the Lord share that with me but He also led me to stumble upon an old journal entry that I had forgotten about, where I wrote about the qualities of a Godly man. The long list was based off of this website where it lists qualities of a Godly husband, wife, child, and friend Bible.org  . I felt led to do another search and stumbled upon these two sites: From the perspective of a man speaking to other men  as well as this one that  speaks about godly husbands and wives . When you seek Him, He really does answer.


My personal opinion is that as you are single, rather than throwing yourself at every girl/guy or moping around about your singleness, focus on becoming  a better you; work on improving yourself & becoming the type of spouse you are called to be, be comfortable in who you are, enjoy life as you see it, and seek His direction. For me personally, I know that I have some more growing to do in my spiritual walk and thus, that has been one of my focuses this year. Could I be in a relationship? Yes. But, do I want to be in just any relationship? No. I've done it on my own before and I have no desire to do that again. I'm submitting to the Lord and letting Him be my filter.

Won't you allow Him to be yours too?




With love,

B